So here I am with post-symposium guilt, feeling like I've eaten dessert before dinner. For a week, it was mainly symposium stuff, which was super fun because it was single-minded. And now I have to get back to all the other stuff. I just got off the phone with mom, who obviously had no idea what all this 'other stuff' was. In case you are similarly in the dark, let me show you:
2/1: Get last thesis comments, prepare for admissions, Admissions committee mtg 6-9 pm
2/2: Preceptorship 9-12 noon, Study for CS exam tomorrow, Pelvic Exam 5:30-7:30
2/3: Practice presentation for prof, 12 -1 pm, Clinical Skills Exam, 2-5 pm, Practice for prof, 5-6
2/4: Make changes and practice, Give practice presentation 12 noon, make final changes until 2 am
2/5: Symposium, 8-6 pm
2/6: Sleep till 1:30 (after going to bed at 10 pm) from exhaustion. Go to dinner and a party.
2/7: Paper on the Krebs cycle due; struggle to understand carbohydrate, fat, and fed/fasting metabolism all day long. Fail. Eat more cooked food (not cereal). Work on thesis revisions.
2/8: Class 8:30-12 noon. Sleep from 12 to 3:30 pm. Work on thesis revisions.
2/9: Preceptorship 8:30-1 pm
When you combine medical school, clinical skills, a thesis symposium, admissions, and an actual thesis...you have chaos in a jar.
Our professors like to tell us, "It's great practice for the real world!" Okay, first, this is the real world. It's not like the world gets more real as you progress from your twenties to your fifties. It gets harder, but hopefully you've spend the interim decades, you know, learning. Try telling a preschooler that writing cursive is easy, why don't they just do it already? And playground fights are very real when you are four.
I don't NEED practice for the REAL world. Okay? I'll deal with my career when I'm ready to be a physician. I don't need to PRACTICE being CRAZY. There's PLENTY of time for that LATER. And the world that we're living in is VERY real. Believe me, this kind of intricate chaos doesn't happen in dream states.
I mean honestly, has any physician ever said, "You know, my life is so crazy. I wish I had PRACTICED this earlier?" No, they wish they had spent more medical school weekends sleeping.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Research Rocks the House at Symposium 2010
The symposium was fabulous! I don't know whether the audience actually enjoyed it, but I sincerely hope they did. I am SO PROUD of my classmates for doing their research, putting their talks together, and making 10 hours fly by. I arrived for the first panel and stayed till the last (which was when I was going). I thought I'd be really nervous, but seeing so many friendly faces in the audience helped tremendously. I wish I could bottle that euphoric feeling from right afterwards and drink it when I'm feeling down, cause wow. It felt GOOD.
It was so exciting and uplifting and fun. It was totally a dream come true! So much so that I can't write about it in the first person without bawling. So, this is what I wish had been written about it in the San Francisco Chronicle:
February 5th, 2010, Berkeley, CA.
The medical community sat up and took notice as the 15 stars of the Joint Medical Program (JMP) class of 2010 presented their research talks during the all-day symposium at UC Berkeley yesterday. Dr. Coco Auerswald, the head of the Master's program at the JMP, hosted the symposium, which was coordinated by the masterful Jessea Greenman of the JMP staff. Topics ranging from violence to God to STD transmission gave audience members a reason to stay for the 10 hours of sequential talks, as did the fabulous breakfast, lunch, and wine-and-cheese reception organized by the JMP's Mary Rita Algazzali.
The morning began with a 'violence' panel, in which three members of the class presented work about released prisoners' health outcomes, a violence-recidivism intervention for inner city youth, and how residential segregation relates to violent injury. These young investigators took the slight computer glitches in stride, which were in any case soon dealt with by Nina Green, the JMP technology whiz.
Following this, an entire panel was devoted to the single payer debate concerning national healthcare, which drew the audience into a compelling argument about moral intuition and how people come to decisions about policy.
A coffee break gave everyone enough energy to delve into the complex issues the third panelists tackled with their projects, including the use of race in pharmacogenetics, the relationhips between social integration and mortality, immunization coverage in the Native American population, and how Vietnamese-American youth prefer to access healthcare.
After lunch, which was filling, tidy (for those in suits), and delicious, we heard about sex and God at the same time, with a rousing discussion of cervical cancer prevention, concurrent sexual partnerships in Mozambique and their effects of HIV transmission, and how religiosity influences prenatal depression in Appalachia (pronounce it right or she'll throw an 'apple atcha').
More coffee, and then the last round of talks for the day: arsenic poisoning prevention in Bangladesh, participant observation from a residential student program in a retirement community, a sociological analysis of the free clinic movement and Big Pharma, and the finale -- how community ambassadors can force the public sector to do its job while providing immigrant seniors with health services.
The Joint Medical Program should be proud of its graduating class. The future looks bright for our country as these young professionals begin to make their mark in the world. We wish them all the best as they move on to their clinical medicine years (or nurse midwifery, in one case), and will follow their careers with interest.
It was so exciting and uplifting and fun. It was totally a dream come true! So much so that I can't write about it in the first person without bawling. So, this is what I wish had been written about it in the San Francisco Chronicle:
February 5th, 2010, Berkeley, CA.
The medical community sat up and took notice as the 15 stars of the Joint Medical Program (JMP) class of 2010 presented their research talks during the all-day symposium at UC Berkeley yesterday. Dr. Coco Auerswald, the head of the Master's program at the JMP, hosted the symposium, which was coordinated by the masterful Jessea Greenman of the JMP staff. Topics ranging from violence to God to STD transmission gave audience members a reason to stay for the 10 hours of sequential talks, as did the fabulous breakfast, lunch, and wine-and-cheese reception organized by the JMP's Mary Rita Algazzali.
The morning began with a 'violence' panel, in which three members of the class presented work about released prisoners' health outcomes, a violence-recidivism intervention for inner city youth, and how residential segregation relates to violent injury. These young investigators took the slight computer glitches in stride, which were in any case soon dealt with by Nina Green, the JMP technology whiz.
Following this, an entire panel was devoted to the single payer debate concerning national healthcare, which drew the audience into a compelling argument about moral intuition and how people come to decisions about policy.
A coffee break gave everyone enough energy to delve into the complex issues the third panelists tackled with their projects, including the use of race in pharmacogenetics, the relationhips between social integration and mortality, immunization coverage in the Native American population, and how Vietnamese-American youth prefer to access healthcare.
After lunch, which was filling, tidy (for those in suits), and delicious, we heard about sex and God at the same time, with a rousing discussion of cervical cancer prevention, concurrent sexual partnerships in Mozambique and their effects of HIV transmission, and how religiosity influences prenatal depression in Appalachia (pronounce it right or she'll throw an 'apple atcha').
More coffee, and then the last round of talks for the day: arsenic poisoning prevention in Bangladesh, participant observation from a residential student program in a retirement community, a sociological analysis of the free clinic movement and Big Pharma, and the finale -- how community ambassadors can force the public sector to do its job while providing immigrant seniors with health services.
The Joint Medical Program should be proud of its graduating class. The future looks bright for our country as these young professionals begin to make their mark in the world. We wish them all the best as they move on to their clinical medicine years (or nurse midwifery, in one case), and will follow their careers with interest.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Eating Humble Pie
I forgot something. Because I'm in this longitudinal track for our clinical core rotations, I don't have to do the lottery to see where I'll be for which rotation. The lottery which is, of course, due this Friday. My classmates have to do it. I do not have to do it. I lose at misery poker :) And this is why I have been eating humble pie this morning.
No more venting. More sleep, more work, more learning, more showers.
I'm a lucky, fortunate, and grateful person!
Oh, and the cat likes honey nut cheerio-flavored milk -- ???
No more venting. More sleep, more work, more learning, more showers.
I'm a lucky, fortunate, and grateful person!
Oh, and the cat likes honey nut cheerio-flavored milk -- ???
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
A Day in the Life, or 'I Am De Niyavich'
Disclosure: this is a venting post. Don't read if you're not in the mood!
Two good but intense things happened today. I saw two patients, one in the morning and one in the evening. The morning was a 'real' patient who may or may not ever walk again due to infection. And this was particularly awful because the patient didn't understand how serious the illness really was, what the implications were for paraplegia, etc. And I wasn't supposed to say anything. Sigh. The second was a medical model educator, who taught me (and three of my classmates) how to do the OB/GYN exam along with our professor. It was a really, really good way to learn it. Our model/educator is incredibly good at knowing whether you're doing it right, and how to fix it, and how to relax while clumsy medical students examine your nether regions. But it is pretty intense to be doing an OB/GYN exam, or watching one, for three hours straight.
Those two things were quite medically amazing, and I learned a lot and I'm glad for them (patient suffering notwithstanding). However, they were emotionally demanding, and on top of them, all the small things in the day kept tripping me up -- starting this morning, when I literally tripped on my way to preceptorship and almost fell down the stairs. Other stupid things kept happening. My hairspray had no nozzle and I broke one of my favorite headbands. I thought our OB exam started half an hour later than it actually did and was late to a pelvic exam, which is very bad form and incredibly humiliating because it's so disrespectful (thankfully no scolding or parking ticket as vengeance for my error). Luckily, I think I did all right during the exam itself. I didn't eat a square meal till 9 pm, for various reasons. I haven't paid my bills or taken care of my cat today. There are dishes in the sink driving me nuts. The recycling bins are overflowing and need to be taken out. Plus a million important emails are sitting in my inbox, undealt-with. I need about twenty hours of sleep tonight.
And tomorrow is going to be so hectic. In the morning, I have to practice my complete research talk for the head of our thesis department (which is not done yet), and then I have a clinical skills exam where I get to do the entire physical exam in an hour from memory. Yikes. Add to this a still-undone thesis (!), a patient write-up, a paper due for class on Monday, and the actual research presentation this Friday, and you have just a little stress.
Oh, yeah, and the boards. I should probably start thinking about those. Too bad school is getting in the way of the boards, huh?
I keep telling myself to breathe. Air is necessary. Air is necessary.
But as they say,
"When you're cold, don't expect sympathy from someone who's warm."
- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
So, my friends, rest assured: this pity party is officially over.
Okay? Okay:
One.
Two.
Three...
GO!
Two good but intense things happened today. I saw two patients, one in the morning and one in the evening. The morning was a 'real' patient who may or may not ever walk again due to infection. And this was particularly awful because the patient didn't understand how serious the illness really was, what the implications were for paraplegia, etc. And I wasn't supposed to say anything. Sigh. The second was a medical model educator, who taught me (and three of my classmates) how to do the OB/GYN exam along with our professor. It was a really, really good way to learn it. Our model/educator is incredibly good at knowing whether you're doing it right, and how to fix it, and how to relax while clumsy medical students examine your nether regions. But it is pretty intense to be doing an OB/GYN exam, or watching one, for three hours straight.
Those two things were quite medically amazing, and I learned a lot and I'm glad for them (patient suffering notwithstanding). However, they were emotionally demanding, and on top of them, all the small things in the day kept tripping me up -- starting this morning, when I literally tripped on my way to preceptorship and almost fell down the stairs. Other stupid things kept happening. My hairspray had no nozzle and I broke one of my favorite headbands. I thought our OB exam started half an hour later than it actually did and was late to a pelvic exam, which is very bad form and incredibly humiliating because it's so disrespectful (thankfully no scolding or parking ticket as vengeance for my error). Luckily, I think I did all right during the exam itself. I didn't eat a square meal till 9 pm, for various reasons. I haven't paid my bills or taken care of my cat today. There are dishes in the sink driving me nuts. The recycling bins are overflowing and need to be taken out. Plus a million important emails are sitting in my inbox, undealt-with. I need about twenty hours of sleep tonight.
And tomorrow is going to be so hectic. In the morning, I have to practice my complete research talk for the head of our thesis department (which is not done yet), and then I have a clinical skills exam where I get to do the entire physical exam in an hour from memory. Yikes. Add to this a still-undone thesis (!), a patient write-up, a paper due for class on Monday, and the actual research presentation this Friday, and you have just a little stress.
Oh, yeah, and the boards. I should probably start thinking about those. Too bad school is getting in the way of the boards, huh?
I keep telling myself to breathe. Air is necessary. Air is necessary.
But as they say,
"When you're cold, don't expect sympathy from someone who's warm."
- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
So, my friends, rest assured: this pity party is officially over.
Okay? Okay:
One.
Two.
Three...
GO!
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Quick Update from Niya
Hi everyone! I'm writing as a short eye-strain break from doing the Powerpoint presentation for my research talk on Friday. It's going to be a tough weekend, trying to finish this presentation and...(drumroll please)...the final draft of my thesis!! I am hoping to file the thesis sometime next week! Please, if you are reading this, cross your fingers for me.
I also wanted to draw your attention to the fact that my blog-name has changed from my initials to Niya, a combination of two of my names. I like it so much better. I'm slowly trying to find a good balance between comfortable anonymity and personal narration! We'll see.
I also wanted to draw your attention to the fact that my blog-name has changed from my initials to Niya, a combination of two of my names. I like it so much better. I'm slowly trying to find a good balance between comfortable anonymity and personal narration! We'll see.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Clinical Clerkships are Coming!!
Today was the day our class found out what we would be doing next year. Clinical clerkships are the hospital rotations that medical students go through in their 3rd and 4th years, before they can take the 2nd boards, apply to residency programs, and hopefully graduate with an MD. At our school, there are five different "tracks" -- three of them are centered around one particular hospital for six months, one of them is very traditional (you rotate every couple of months from department to department at different hospitals), and one is the one I'm in! We stay at the same hospital all year round, we actually get our OWN cohort of 50-70 patients, and we learn all the subjects at once. We still have to take the same exams as everyone else, but the idea is to do a longitudinal experience that's more representative of actual practice.
Last Friday, we all entered a lottery so we could rank these five program in order of preference. And this afternoon, we each got an email telling us where we'd be!
For me, this means I can live at home, rent-free, for the next year. It means I know where I'll be all year. The sacrfices are: I won't have the 'traditional' clerkship experience, and I don't know WHEN I'll be on call -- the students in my track get called over to the hospital at pretty much any time of day or night. If one of your patients goes to the ER, you go to the ER. She has a baby, you go help catch the baby. Etc. But how exciting!! I'm so excited!!
I'm sublimely happy. I'm dancing on air. This is total motivation to study for the B-word that rhymes with swords.
Last Friday, we all entered a lottery so we could rank these five program in order of preference. And this afternoon, we each got an email telling us where we'd be!
For me, this means I can live at home, rent-free, for the next year. It means I know where I'll be all year. The sacrfices are: I won't have the 'traditional' clerkship experience, and I don't know WHEN I'll be on call -- the students in my track get called over to the hospital at pretty much any time of day or night. If one of your patients goes to the ER, you go to the ER. She has a baby, you go help catch the baby. Etc. But how exciting!! I'm so excited!!
I'm sublimely happy. I'm dancing on air. This is total motivation to study for the B-word that rhymes with swords.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Tidal Wave
I just came back from school. Oh my god, everyone in my class resembles a walking zombie: "Theeesiiiis....Boooarrrrds...OSCEeeee's...arghhhhh" (OSCE = scary clinical skills exams). I don't think any of them are getting enough sleep. I know I'm not. My friendships are on pause, no holiday cards went out this year, and I barely manage to keep my poor cat in kibbles and clean litter.
That said, even though I have work coming out of my ears and I'm working 17-19 hours a day, with maybe two meals and a shower thrown in if I'm lucky, other people still have it much worse than I do. For instance, doing all of this when one of your family members is struggling with cancer (it's happening to someone). Doing all of this when your partner is losing a loved one (also happening to someone). Doing all this while raising a child (will happen to people in the class below me).
So if you ask me how I am, I'll say I'm fine. Not ecstatic, but fine. And not miserable. I've seen worse. But I might not be able to chat for a while, sorry about that :(
Plus, working admissions is pretty fun!
This week:
-- Poster session for which I need to finish the poster & get it printed, like, yesterday
-- Lots of research meetings
-- Homework for class and review stuff I didn't get (oh, yeah, med school)
-- Figure out how to study for boards
-- Sleep enough to function
-- Read up on clinical skills before Tuesday
-- Revise thesis after aforesaid meetings
-- Feed cat. More than once.
-- Replenish contact lenses
-- Get a bunch of stuff done for the Admissions committee
-- Take a shower
-- Buy food, toothpaste, and other basics
-- Talk to awesome fiance
-- Thank big (jk) brother for gift of amazing mulled wine
That said, even though I have work coming out of my ears and I'm working 17-19 hours a day, with maybe two meals and a shower thrown in if I'm lucky, other people still have it much worse than I do. For instance, doing all of this when one of your family members is struggling with cancer (it's happening to someone). Doing all of this when your partner is losing a loved one (also happening to someone). Doing all this while raising a child (will happen to people in the class below me).
So if you ask me how I am, I'll say I'm fine. Not ecstatic, but fine. And not miserable. I've seen worse. But I might not be able to chat for a while, sorry about that :(
Plus, working admissions is pretty fun!
This week:
-- Poster session for which I need to finish the poster & get it printed, like, yesterday
-- Lots of research meetings
-- Homework for class and review stuff I didn't get (oh, yeah, med school)
-- Figure out how to study for boards
-- Sleep enough to function
-- Read up on clinical skills before Tuesday
-- Revise thesis after aforesaid meetings
-- Feed cat. More than once.
-- Replenish contact lenses
-- Get a bunch of stuff done for the Admissions committee
-- Take a shower
-- Buy food, toothpaste, and other basics
-- Talk to awesome fiance
-- Thank big (jk) brother for gift of amazing mulled wine
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