The Unwritten Rules

One thing I'm learning is that on the wards, many, many people will let you just put your foot in it. This is not just other medical students who think they're competing with you -- doctors, nurses, staff will let you just make a mistake and then see how you react. This morning was my morning. My attending asked me to check my schedule and tell the patient when I'd be back. Simple, right? Nope. I didn't have my schedule (for the year, not this week) printed out and with me. That was mistake #1. I couldn't log on to the server because I had forgotten which account and password out of five new account/password combinations I was supposed to use. So it locked me out. That was mistake #2. So far, so good.

But the compounding mistake was asking another doctor to log in for me. Apparently that is a big, BIG no-no. But she didn't tell me that. The few other people sitting there didn't say anything. She was just silent, then asked, "Do you have an ID?" and I said yes, but I was locked out. Then she said, "hold on," and left, so I thought maybe she would help me. Meanwhile, I looked up the help number. When she came back, she said, "Are you still locked out?" and made it absolutely clear she was not going to do anything about it. Let me note that she didn't say anything along the lines of, "You know I'm not allowed to do that. Call that number on the screen." She was just silent, as was everyone else.

So at this point, I finally caught on and said, "I'll just call the hotline here." And I picked up my cell phone, spent the next 10 minutes on the phone, and got my schedule off the computer o' doom (it is not a coincidence that the server login screen resembles the Blue Screen of Death). By which time, of course, my patient had departed. I offered a dejected apology to my attending and then swallowed it like a big girl and kept seeing people (who in this case, were very adorable well babies, so this was frankly not too hard). But I lost a patient for my cohort and a chance to look like I actually had my act together.

Lesson learned: Never, never, never, never ask for help if there's a chance you can solve it without putting someone out. Because you are at the bottom of the ladder. Oh, and carry your schedule for the entire year, in case someone asks you what you're doing next July when your patients need shots. Third, always keep an eye out for the Unwritten Rules. The nurses know, just copy them. And never ask a doctor who isn't responsible for you for help. No teaching credit, no time. Oops, I forgot one: learn how to blend invisibly into an overcrowded room without getting in anyone's way or, God forbid, taking a chair (that one I knew: they all 'belong' to someone).